Who am I again?

Some of the most awkward moments in my life tend to be when I meet someone new - or worse, when I have to fill out a profile on a dating app. Yes, I am shy and an introvert, but it's more than that. I just never really know what to say about myself. I mean, who am I? What defines me? My go-to is: "Single mother of a x year old daughter. I work in accounts receivable for a local beer company and I am an aspiring writer."

Funny how the first thing that defines me is my role as a single mother, then my job, and my life long aspiration last. I am a single mother, but is it really who I am? It isn't all I am. I am also a daughter,a sister, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a best friend, a running buddy, a member of WW, and a fan a million television shows. But do any of these really tell you who I am?

I am kind, caring, sensitive, generous, neurotic, health conscious, funny (well I think so), sarcastic, snarky, moody, bossy, young at heart, fun-living, frivolous, cautious, adventurous.... The list could go on. So, why don't I say these things in my profiles? Why not mention these when I meet someone and they say "tell me about yourself"? 

I think our society has always defined people by their relationships to others (so-and-so, son of so-in-so, so-and-so's wife/daughter/sister), or our positions/vocations in the world (farmer, banker, maid). The positives in that list are also things we might feel we shouldn't say about ourselves, but things we should just "be" and people will think of us that way. We shouldn't say we are kind, we should just "be" kind. As for our negative or less desirable traits, they aren't exactly selling points on a dating profile. "Neurotic, bossy woman with moody tendencies, but who is also kind and fun-loving" might be a hard sell, not to mention comes off slightly contradictory. 

So, this blog is me, wading my way through the contradictions and self (and society) imposed "titles" to find who I am beyond the "overweight, single-mother, accounts receivable agent". I am going to explore the long aspiring writer and all the other traits and flaws that make up who I am with challenges great and small, physical and mental. I hope you will come along and help me celebrate as I learn to embrace all that I am along the way! 

xxx

Gen